Dear God

Dear God,

I just feel like writing You this letter. I know it’s a bit odd, considering that You already know my thoughts even before I’d finish writing them down.

But then again, perhaps it would occupy my time and help me focus on You.

Dear God,

I just want to say sorry for the many things I’ve done.

I’m sorry for all the hurt and suffering I’ve caused, for always messing up each time I try.

I’m sorry for the times I’ve grieved You through my words, thoughts and actions.

I’m sorry for my constant hesitations. Despite the grace You give me to face my challenges, I still lack the faith to push forward.

I’m sorry for my selfishness. I want to care for others, but I’m stuck in my world of self-centredness.

I’m sorry for not giving my all to You. I still hold on to my own desires and allow them to control me many times in my life.

I’m sorry for still dwelling in my past failures. I know You’ve set me free from guilt and shame, but sometimes I just give in to the accusations of my terrible past.

I’m sorry for doubting You. I know You can do all things, but often I allow my doubts to overwhelm the faith You have given me.

I’m sorry for thinking that You can’t use me. You can and do want to use me, but I just have this fear of my inabilities and inadequacies.

I’m sorry for always judging others. I really don’t want to, but these thoughts of comparing myself with others just keep surfacing in my mind.

I’m sorry for constantly trying to please others when really it’s You that deserve my praise and worship.

All in all God, I’m really sorry for not matching up to the standard which you’ve called me to live in.

I’m really sorry for falling short of the purposes for which I’m created for.

Yet God, I know that You still love me despite all my failures, all my inadequacies, all my insecurities, all my disappointments. I truly thank you for that. You don’t know how much that means to me…wait, maybe You do know. After all, You know everything.

Dear God,

I don’t know how life would be like without You. Each time I come home, feeling so frustrated with life, there You will be wrapping Your arms around me and comforting me.

I truly can’t imagine life without You, God. How empty and meaningless it would be.

But God, I’m really grateful that You’re there. I’m grateful that despite all the craziness of this world, the One who’s above all this madness loves me more than anything else.

Who am I to deserve such grace and love? I really don’t know. But what I do know is this, God – I want to return this love You’ve given me. I want to be with You, God, even if just Your slave. Please God, don’t let me be merely a pawn of this world.

Dear God,

I’ll do better next time. I know I will. Please forgive me.

God, please lead me on.

Warmest regards,

Brian

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