A New Beginning

Emptiness

Staring blankly at the pages of the book I was holding in my hand for some brief moments, I was struck by a sudden feeling of emptiness. I reached down into the depths of my mind to try and rip out some thoughts and insights for this New Year. But after several feeble attempts, it was clear that I had none.

Am I excited about the New Year?
I can't say that I am.

Am I struck by the festive mood like so many people are?
Hmm...I guess that's a no too.

Have I formulated any "New Year's resolutions?"
Well, maybe I do have some in mind but not any formal declarations of any sort.

What's wrong with me?! I should be feeling jubilant that God has given this new year. I should be feeling thankful for the wonderful blessings that God has given me in 2007 and I should be filled with anticipation of the wonderful things that God has in store for me. In short, I should be feeling something!

Maybe the monotony of previous New Year's celebrations has finally gotten to me, afflicting me with such an apathy towards celebrations going on around me.

The ringing of my phone abruptly broke the chain of silence that threatened to consume me. After some hesitation, I pressed the "Answer" button and was pleasantly surprised by a call wishing me "Happy New Year!" The first call wishing me Happy New Year since I was born. New Year...well maybe it does not have to be the same old mundane New Years that burned giant holes of emptiness in my heart time after time.

Perhaps I haven't been viewing things in the right perspective. I guess it's only fitting that I view things in retrospect. After all, we learn by hindsight. As my fingers twirled around the keyboard, their dance fast yet imprecise, I begin to review my year of 2007.

Examination of the Evidence

Firstly, we examine the evidence that refutes the claim that the 2008 New Year is just another routine, uninteresting event.

Firstly, we shall need to look at what I've been through in 2007. Let's see...2007...merely a boring, uneventful year? Or filled with a plethora of amazing new experiences, or shall I say a multitude of "firsts"?

1. First time driving
   
2. First time attending a church/Christian fellowship/cell group
3. First time I've felt such strong "loneliness" and "emptiness" in my life
   
4. First time having real acquaintances other than the teachers
5. First time other people actually throwing a birthday party for me
   
6. First time I actually committed time to other people
   
7. First time serving God in CA and in church
8. First time I really got attracted to someone
   
9. First time singing and playing an instrument in front of the masses (during Grand Dinner)
   
10. First time traveling alone around Malaysia
11. First time I cycled successfully in my life
12. First time celebrating Christmas
13. First time I had something which I can really rely on and hold on to (God)

And the list can go on and on...

Alright, maybe 2007 was not such a boring year after all. In fact, it was filled with so many great things. By inference, I could expect 2008 to be even better. But, that may not be the case because usually, after a certain "golden age", things start declining. This is usually what happens to many great empires, like the Egyptian, Babylonian, Greek, Ancient Roman and so many others. Maybe 2007 was simply the "golden age" and things would start spiraling downwards after that.

But let's not jump to conclusions so quickly. First, let's examine what is the cause behind the sudden change from pre-2007 to 2007 (or should I say pre-INTEC to INTEC). Almost without hesitation, my thoughts revealed the following deduction.

First Premise:

• Many great things happened throughout my life in INTEC

Second Premise:

• I got to know God in INTEC

Conclusion:

• Many great things happened throughout my life in INTEC because I got to know God in INTEC.

Hmm, that does not sound right. Perhaps there are other causes for the First Premise that's not God. After some deliberations, I came up with the following list:

1. Money has never really brought me much joy. I've never had problems with money and my financial record was never in the slums. And my spending habits has not really changed much in INTEC.
   
2. Friendship has undoubtedly brought me great joy, though there were some disappointing moments. Overall, I've made many great friends who have helped me through hard times in INTEC and who have helped me grow spiritually. But great friendship comes from some other cause and is an effect of that cause.
   
3. Family, well they've supported and helped me as much as they could but still they did not really fill in the gap in my heart. Not that I am downplaying their role, but what I am saying is that there is something greater that is able to cause such magnificent changes in me.
   
4. Success has never really been an issue for me. Truthfully, I am so used to success in primary and secondary school that it has somehow become a "norm" or a "habit". I get all moody when faced with failure. So, success would never have brought so many "firsts" in my life, but would have confined me to my illusionary and fantasy world.

So, if none of these are the causes, then what is? Seems like there is only one answer left - GOD!

Revelation

It must be GOD! There is no other answer. It is God that has brought about so many radical changes in my life. It is God that has blessed me with the wonderful friendships, a good family, great successes and adequate money. It is to God that I owe everything I have gained in INTEC.
OK! So what if it is God? What guarantee do I have that He will continue to bless me? What guarantee is there that God will always be there for me and He will not just let me wander around and around in the circle of boredom?

No! That is certainly NOT God! Again and again, He has promised to be with me forever and He has great plans for me.

For God has spoken:

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go...I will not leave you until I have give you what I have promised. (paraphrase of Genesis 28:15)

My presence will go with you and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)

For I know the plans that I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)

Even the Psalmist testifies to God's continuous presence with us.

Where can I go to escape your spirit? Where can I flee to escape your presence? If I were to ascend to heaven, you would be there. If I were to sprawl out in Sheol, there you would be. If I were to fly away on the wings of the dawn, and settle down on the other side of the sea, even there your hand would guide me, your right hand would grab hold of me. If I were to say, "Certainly the darkness will cover me, and the light will turn to night all around me," even the darkness is not too dark for you to see, and the night is as bright as day, darkness and light are the same to you. (Psalms 139:7-12)

In the Epistle to the Romans, Paul teaches:

Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any spiritual powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

In the Epistle to the Hebrews, it is written:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)

Praise the LORD! I can be absolutely certain that He is with me always, that He has great things in store for me. Not just for me, but for EACH and EVERY one of us who place our trust in Him.

This is a year in which we can place high expectations that God WILL continue to work wonders in us through His CONTINUOUS presence with us.

Consider Moses, who was transformed from a runaway killer to the prophet who "the LORD knew face to face", or David, who was transformed from a lowly shepherd boy to Israel's greatest king, or Paul, who was transformed from one of the worst persecutors of Christians to perhaps the greatest missionary who ever lived. God has worked wonders in these people through His continuous presence with them.

So, this New Year, it is time to hold on to God's promise and allow God to transform us from our weak and inadequate selves to great people who will glorify the LORD! We don't need formal, lengthy New Year resolutions, which if we try to accomplish alone is bound to fail, but rather we need God's continuous presence with us! Amen.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone! May God's presence be with you always.

Blessings,

BRIAN CHEE